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    初二寫作技法:讓事件在筆下生輝


    讓事件在筆下生輝——蘇教版八年級(上)第一單元寫作訓練指導

     

    何子芳

     

    【技法點撥】

        歌德說過:“一個人只要能把一件事說得很清楚,他也就能把許多事都說得清楚了。”學寫記敘文,需要交代事件的前因后果,只有這樣,讀者才明白事件的來龍去脈,進而理解這件事所顯示的思想意義。那么我們該如何寫清一件事,讓事件的起因、經過和結果在筆下生輝呢?

        一、落筆之前想要素。時間、地點、人物,事情的起因、經過和結果是架構記敘文的六要素,寫清事情發生的時間、地點,會讓讀者更加信服;明確事件發生的原因、經過,讀者會明白事件的來龍去脈;寫清楚事件的結果,不但能給讀者留下完整而深刻的印象,更能讓讀者從事件中獲取認識和啟迪。要想寫清楚一件事,落筆之前,先明確要向讀者傳達哪些信息要素,寫作起來才會有的放矢。

        二、寫作之中明思路。女作家葉文玲說:“作文,首先構思要別出心裁,落筆也要有點與眾不同的鮮味才好。”明確了寫作要素,寫作時根據表達的需要,要巧妙地將這些要素一一推出。順敘,次序井然,文氣自然貫通,能讓讀者感覺條理清楚,層次分明;倒敘,先聲奪人,曲折有致,容易造成懸念,引人入勝;插敘,節外生枝,襯托補充,往往能使結構緊湊,內容更加充實。先寫什么,后寫什么,如何推出,往往關系的是整個寫作的成敗。

        三、巧手剪裁織云錦。寫一件事,并不是說把這件事的每一個階段、每一個情節、每一個場面都詳加記錄就清楚了,那樣反而因啰唆、冗長而淹沒了中心意思。要想使所寫事件清楚明白,必須注意巧手剪裁,哪些地方詳寫,需要濃墨重彩細加描述,哪些地方略寫,只要一筆帶過就行。一般而言,詳寫的是“點”,也就是事件的細節之處。越是細微處,越能見事件的本質,人物的內心世界。詳寫這些,能給文章增輝添色,讓人身臨其境;略寫往往概括“面”的情況,反映事件的廣度。詳略安排得當,事件才重點突出,錯落有致。

    四、語言精彩著華章。古人云:“言之無文,行而不遠。”生動的事件,還需要精彩的語言展現才能清楚明白,奪人心魄。體現在寫作中,就是用字要穩,表達方式和句式運用靈活。或繪聲繪色,讓人身臨其境;或幽默風趣,亦莊亦諧;或巧構妙引,彰顯底蘊;或善用修辭,表述形象;或語言鮮活,富有時代氣息等等。無論何種語言,都要感情真摯,以情動人,情到深處事自明,飽蘸情感的事件,總是讀之有味,品之動情。

     

    【佳作展示】

     

    山村新鮮事

     

    王寧

     

        今年山村的春天格外熱鬧,當山頭的最后一捧積雪融化時,當大地上冒出第一絲嫩綠時,當天空出現第一抹蔚藍時,喜鵲就開始滿村喳喳叫了,像是和人們傳播著什么喜訊似的。“嘿,你們知道嗎?高澤要建超市了!”“誰說的,我們一個小小的山村,怎么能建超市呢?”“真的,就在南邊的那條街上,準備建一個大超市,那樣我們以后購物,就不用到縣城了。”“真的呀?那太好了!”

        老人們在茶余飯后津津樂道,暢想著超市建成后的美好生活,孩子們則滿村亂跑,到處傳播著這個激動人心的好消息。新鮮事傳播得可真快,不到一天,大街小巷的人,都知道村里要建超市了。

        消息果然準確,桃花還沒有全部落盡,人們的棉衣還沒有全部脫下,超市就破土動工了。老人們拿起板凳坐看超市的施工,好像一天不來,就不放心工程的施工;孩子們隔三差五,也光顧工地“視察”一下,似乎擔心哪一天不來,就好像錯過了超市開業一樣;上班的人走到這里,總是駐足觀看一會。超市工程的進度,牽動著全村每一個人的心。

        據說,超市的老板就是那小賣部的主人,光陰荏苒,連小賣部都發展為超市了!

        半年的盼望,半年的等待,等柿子由青變黃,高粱由綠變紅,超市也終于建成了。

        可真氣派呀!黃藍相間的外壁,讓超市顯得格外顯眼,“高澤眾信超市”五個大字也是用金色燙制而成……

        隨著噼里啪啦的鞭炮聲,人們高興地從四面八方趕來。走進超市里面,錚亮的地板,潔白的墻壁,琳瑯滿目的商品……應有盡有,讓人目不暇接。

        孩子們鉆進超市,目標就是一個——副食品區,糖果、點心、飲料,只要自己想要的,伸手就放進了籃子里;小媳婦和老太太們則喜歡光顧服裝區,撫摸著那些五顏六色的衣服,人人都能選到自己中意的服飾……人人都沉浸在購物的歡樂中,超市帶來的方便,讓祖祖輩輩在鄉村生活的人們,第一次體驗到了購物帶來的快樂。

        喜鵲又喳喳地叫喚開了,塵霧,掩藏不住鄉村發展的蓬勃活力,炊煙裊裊,用她柔軟的軀體,撫摸著這個熟悉的土地,關注著又有什么新鮮事要發生。

        真的,古老的鄉村,說不定那一天就會有什么新鮮事發生。

    (作者系山東省五蓮縣高澤初中學生)

     

    【教師評點】

    <span New Roman';font-size:10.5pt;">    山村古樸,一個自選超市的建立,牽動著全村人的心。在他們的眼中,能夠自由選購,就是新鮮。文章通過山村的這一新鮮事,側面展現了農村經濟的變遷,熱情謳歌了時代和社會的發展。在選材上,作者交代這一事件的起因、經過和結果,條理清楚,層次分明。特別是在展現經過時,小作者極力描寫人們對超市建設的期待,無形中暗扣了“新鮮事”,也有力地突出了文章的主旨。

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