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    高三寫作技法:巧妙表達,給素材變臉


    巧妙表達,給素材變臉

     

      “未來不等于現在”,只是一般的議論,告訴讀者要珍惜現在,卻因平淡而無人喝彩。“來年的蝴蝶,怎能找到今年的花”,表達的意思與前句相同,但能讓讀者浮想聯翩,給人震撼。川劇有一個精彩節目叫“變臉”,之所以深受觀眾喜愛,就在于它的富于變化。高明的作者,總是能創造性地使用素材,令讀者為之叫絕。巧妙表達,可以給素材穿上新衣,給素材變臉,從而讓閱卷老師耳目一新,獲得作文高分。

        素材變臉可以借助修辭手法和恰當修飾。通過聯想和想象,運用比喻以相似或相關甚至相反的事物或情景作比的寫法,往往可以讓素材變得鮮活有趣;運用設問,讓讀者思考;運用比擬,讓人倍感親切。比如要形容雨,寫“雨大顆大顆地滴到田野里”,表現力就不強,但是如果換成下面的表述,那就會有奇妙的效果。“它是大海的嘆息,是天空的淚水,是田野的微笑。它是什么呢?它就是雨!”一般素材語言都具有簡潔、概括的特點,如果直接照搬,就沒有表現力。這樣,運用素材時,調動生活積累,精心選用定語、狀語、補語這些修飾語,素材就會繪聲繪色,形象具體,文采飛揚。如《還我們真實的世界》一文:

        在物欲橫流的今天,重慶市20名小學生走上沙坪壩三峽廣場拍賣空氣。這不得不讓人沉思,這一行為產生的根本原因便是環境的日益惡化,這不也是人類的原罪么?而以拍賣空氣的方式換取靈魂的頓悟和道德的感知,便是原罪的救贖。這像是一記響亮的耳光,更像是一盆徹骨的涼水,澆熄了欲望的火,拍醒了人們被利益熏暈的靈魂。南丁格爾提到人生欲求要全,當有五要,其中之一便是清潔空氣,你是否也喜歡在空曠的山野和無人的田塍沉思,任清風牽動衣袂,任草香在心性里泛起漣漪,只想化為田間的一朵油菜花,山野里清脆的一抹綠,甚至只是一縷靈動的空氣呢?

        作者妙用比喻,連用“響亮的耳光”“徹骨的涼水”兩個比喻來說明小學生拍賣空氣的作用,形象而具體。為說明清新空氣之重要,展開聯想,運用一組排比,調動讀者的遐想,使文章富有張力。

        素材變臉還可以大膽穿越。

        穿越古今,讓古人起死回生,讓古代名人評論當今熱點,借古人之口闡釋自己的思想,讓人耳目一新。大膽突破,突破行業界限,大膽借用跨行業的詞語,讓人耳目一新。總之,大膽穿越,能讓素材以全新面目示人。如《太白日志》一文:

        李白一路行走,好生憤懣。他眼觀茂密的森林被夷為平地的慘象,耳聽屠宰場牲畜垂死掙扎的悲鳴,鼻聞廢水溝化學試劑隨風擴散的臭味,他悲嘆道:“好生一幅慘狀,后生怎得如此?”他一路含淚,來到山城重慶三峽廣場,看到一堆人擁擠在一起,原來有一群小學生正舉行拍賣空氣活動,李白非常詫異,就問一個小學生:“孩子,你們為什么想到這樣的行動呢?”“詩仙啊,工業的強勢發展,今天的空氣已經遠遠不及盛唐了,我們想借此喚醒人們的保護空氣意識。”聽到這里,詩仙面帶微笑,頓時長長舒了一口氣,贊嘆道:“美哉,美哉,有了你們,化學試劑的味道便會消失,大自然的容顏會恢復美麗。我又可以開心地且放白鹿青崖間,須行即騎訪名山了!”然后,李白一路高歌而去……

        李白穿越時空,來到今天,看到生態環境被破壞,他痛心疾首而悲嘆;看到小學生為保護生態環境而拍賣空氣,他贊不絕口。大膽的穿越、新穎的表達,突破常規,新鮮撲面!

        素材變臉更可以詩意表達。

        詩詞佳句往往具有很強的哲理性和啟示性,結合素材,選擇與主題有密切關系的詩句或直接引用,或化用,可賦予文字以審美意蘊,營造一種哲理氛圍,令人尋味耐思,文章就會有詩情畫意,有文化底蘊。如《踏歌行》一文:

        生活本自然,菩提本無樹,然何苦惹塵埃?哥本哈根的聒噪與對立曾暴露了現代社會的生態問題,我們可愛的地球受傷了。“兩個黃鸝鳴翠柳,一行白鷺上青天。”杜甫在唐詩里描繪得多美啊!然而往昔湛藍的天空已蒙上灰色的陰影,高大的建筑物占據了植物的生存空間,人類的欲望破壞了自然的天平。誰不想觀賞春花秋月?誰不想擁抱清泉溪水?誰不想讓自然的美延續?那就讓我們攜起手來共創綠色未來,像南京姑娘周嫻般堅持,保護梧桐樹來警醒社會;像重慶的小學生們般努力,銷售空氣來呼吁人們保護地球。如此,我們方可在悠悠茶香里品味自然之美,方可在碧藍天空下自在呼吸。

        文章寫地球受傷,巧妙聯想到杜甫的詩句,讓讀者走近唐詩,聯想到古代的美景,使文章也有了意蘊。再勾勒生態的現狀,最后概括選用兩個素材,集中體現了以真正的良知來擔當責任,保護自然景觀。內容集中,論證有力。

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