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    讓人物個性躍然紙上


    讓人物個性躍然紙上
    ——第三單元寫作指導與訓練
    文/吳應海
    寫作講壇
      人物活則文活。在以寫人記事為主的記敘文寫作中,只有把人物寫好,讓人物形象躍然紙上,作文才能打動人心。而要達到這樣的效果,必須要抓住人物的特點進行描寫。
      人物特點從哪里來?源于深入細致的觀察。觀察一個人,首先要全面,既要觀察人物的長相、衣著;也要觀察人物的言談舉止;更要通過人物的所作所為來揣摩其心理,鑒別其人品。其次要細心,絕不能浮光掠影,一定要靜下心來,邊觀察邊思考,力求能觀察到那些易被人忽視的細節。第三要做好記錄,最好養成寫觀察日記的習慣。
      觀察只是第一步,描寫才是重點。
      技巧一:選用典型事例。即圍繞人物個性精選素材,通過記敘典型故事,讓人物個性得到充分表現。比如《竊讀記》就是通過寫作者小時候“竊讀”這件事,突出了她刻苦好學的特點。而《再塑生命的人》則通過“學拼寫”這一情節,突出了莎莉文老師的耐心和智慧。
      技巧二:展開細致描摹。人物描寫包含外貌、神態、語言、動作、心理等多個方面,同學們應緊扣人物特點,從幾個或多個方面對人物展開描摹。描寫過程中,可適當運用修辭手法,展開聯想,以增強表達效果。比如《從百草園到三味書屋》一文,用“高而瘦”“須發都白了”“還戴著大眼鏡”來寫壽鏡吾老先生的外貌,讓讀者如睹其人。
      技巧三:巧用側面描寫。主要有兩個途徑,一是通過描寫一個人物來反襯另外一個人物。二是通過環境描寫烘托人物性格。比如《再塑生命的人》,文末寫“我”的喜悅和幸福,其實就烘托出了莎莉文老師的偉大。

    習作選登


    同窗的她
    文|方美娟
      王紅是我的同窗兼閨密,外號“食神”。別以為這“食神”做菜很牛,此“食神”乃“貪吃之神”。
      第一次見到王紅的人,一定都會說:“此人乃‘寬宏大量’之人啊!”的確,我們的“食神”胖乎乎的,個頭很大,此謂“寬宏”;她的肚子上還有小小的“游泳圈”,此謂“大量”。
      她雖然身材“雄偉”,但卻長了一張與身材極不相稱的甜美臉蛋兒,無論什么時候,她的嘴角總是微微上揚,似乎從不會煩惱。
      “食神”這一稱號,她是當之無愧啊!因為無論何時何地,她的書包里、口袋里都會有很多零食,大至面包,小至糖果,品種繁多,令人眼饞。
      一次上體育課,老師教我們做廣播體操,當老師背過身給我們做示范動作的時候,“食神”快速地從口袋中掏出一粒糖果塞進嘴里,老師轉回身時,她又是認真做操的模樣了。這讓站在她旁邊的我目瞪口呆——她這是上發條了吧?這速度,這演技,沒個兩三年的苦練怎可達到如此出神入化的境界?
      晚上宿舍關燈后,大家經常會聽到啃食、咀嚼的聲響。“宿舍怎么有老鼠呢?王紅,小心點,我聽到老鼠在你那兒吃東西呢!”室友逗著王紅。王紅佯裝生氣道:“哼!你才是老鼠,人家是米老鼠!”
      “哎,我說,你是不是該減肥了?”我“真心勸誡”她。
      “不減不減,我這長相,沒點重量壓得住么?”“食神”嘴里含著食物,口齒不清地回答我。
      室友集體沉默了。一個女生咋能樂觀成這樣呢?
      這就是我們的同窗,我的“食神”,你們hold得住么?

    【同窗視點】

      這篇作文緊扣“同窗的她”這一題目,講述了同窗好友王紅貪吃的一些“秘聞”,令人捧腹。作者觀察得真仔細。

    (陳露)

    【教師點評】

      本文先開門見山地點出同窗“食神”這一外號,然后用傳神的外貌描寫把人物推到讀者面前,接著敘述典型故事,最后再回到“同窗”上來,形成首尾呼應之勢,可謂一氣呵成。作者靈活運用肖像、語言、動作等描寫來刻畫人物,非常生動,讓人難忘。


    文章來源于:《語文報》初一版2017年10月

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