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    問路


      “世上本無路走的人多了,便成了路。”這句話不僅是魯迅先生的箴言,更是我人生路上的信仰,因為它,我見證了我15年的掙扎,迷茫以及所有的奮斗。——題記

      老師溫和細軟的話語聲在耳畔繚繞,時光緩緩,我恍惚了神思,呆呆地望著窗外,夕陽的流光映入眼簾,落日的余暉殘留天際,良久,我便陷入了那若即若離的記憶之門里……

      細細回味我過去15年的人生,突然之間覺著自己好像從來沒有找準過自己的路,就那樣恍恍惚惚,得過且過,隨著歲月的交替,平靜緩慢地長大,漫無目的。

      許是當時太過年少,天真地認為能一直在父母的臂膀下成長。可未來似乎總是會如約而至,因而從未想過自己會選擇什么樣的路。然而世間之道,有始有終,有因有果,我逐漸懂得該來的總會在某個特定的時間段出現,歲月從不會虧待誰,也不會縱容誰。

      人生總是會面臨選擇,就在我沉浸在童年的歡樂時光中時,隨之而來的便是人生中的第一次抉擇。 小學升初中,或許在人們看來,這只不過是一次簡單的升學,但對我來說,這是人生第一個十字路口,盡管我當時還不明白去一個普通初中上學和去重點中學上學的區別,只是覺著都一樣,一樣的學習,吃飯和回家,我不解其中的含義,更不明白這會對我的以后造成什么影響。然而我就這樣帶著這個疑慮上路,跌跌撞撞地闖入了初中的大門。

      上了初中之后,我發現一切都不一樣了,周圍越來越多的人開始考慮自己的未來,在想自己以后該通往哪條夢想的通路,但好像只有一個我,依舊該吃吃,該穿穿,滿不在意,心想:未來還很長,考慮這些是不是為時過早啊!雖說心里曾有過那么一點想法,思慮,不過很快就被拋之腦后,依舊嘻嘻哈哈度日,就在不知不覺中,我迎來了中考,老師說,這將是你們人生的一個轉折點,老師話一落音,周圍同學便炸開了鍋,開始議論紛紛,好像只有我不知該干什么,隨即,我帶著疑慮回到家中,便問父親,父親對我說了很多交心的話,可我仍然不知道眾人口中那所謂的路在何方,就只依稀記得一句話要盡力考上重點高中,未來才會有無限種可能……心想既然這是家人的期盼,我就如此去做便好。此時我仍舊懵懂,滿心都是初生牛犢不怕虎的驕傲和勇氣。

      時間總是轉瞬即逝,我沒有辜負家人的期盼,在九月這個播種與收獲的季節,我離開家鄉步入高中。那個時候心中并沒有所謂普通與重點的概念,一開始也并不認為這所重點中學有多么地神奇,可當我踏入學校大門時,想法就改變了,此刻內心的無比興奮,自然是無法用言語來形容,不禁感嘆道原來這就是父親口中的高中啊,果然不一般呀!學生們接踵而來,個個來報道的學生臉上都笑靨如花,青春的朝氣鋪面而來,自己也被周圍感染,陽光似乎都變成了輕快的檸檬色。

      滿懷著期待,我就這樣懵懵懂懂的上了高中,不過一開學我就有著一種說不上來的感覺,周圍的人變了,她們不再像初中那般坐在一起閑聊,反而是一個個低頭刷題,寫作業,太過安靜,有時甚至靜得可怕,正是如此,我總感覺有張無形的網壓迫著我,總會有種窒息感,原來這就是傳說中的魔鬼學校,盡管如此,我依舊弄不明白她們這么做的原因,就這樣,我依舊像初中一般渾渾噩噩地過日子。

      歡樂舒心的時光總是如此短暫,馬上就要高二了,老師們開始了長篇大論的思想教育,起初我不以為然,嘮叨的聲音總是千篇一律沒有終點,但期末考成績出來的那刻,看著成績跌入谷底,我頓時崩潰了,瞬間找不到方向,真正的迷茫了,以往不以為意的教誨像一把重錘,一下一下地敲擊著我。心里好像有那么點明白身邊同學一直以來所追求的,掛在他們口中的那條通往夢想的道路是什么了。

      暑假來臨了,也就意味著我的高中時間已過半。這次我回了老家,跟爺爺談起了這件事,我問爺爺同學們口中的路在哪可爺爺什么也沒說,直接把我領去田地里,炎炎烈日下,螞蟥吸腳,蚊蟲叮咬,荊棘一路。我不斷的揮灑著自己的汗水,卻怎么也揮之不去。爺爺突然低著頭說路,就在你腳下,由你自己選擇,能否堅持下去,全靠你自己。我低頭看著我的雙腳,雙腳下寬廣而堅實的土地,土地上努力生長的植株,植株上不知疲倦地啼叫的夏蟲,夏蟲身后恒久發光發熱的烈日。一切井然有序,萬物清晰堅定。

      我頓時茅塞頓開,扔下鐮刀,跑向那條沒有方向的路,淚水迷失了我的眼睛。我鼓不起勇氣面對自己。這就是我以后要走的路嗎?烈日、汗水、淚水與我相伴。我不停的問自己,以后的路要怎樣走,該往哪走。這一切的問題讓我的腦袋似乎要爆炸了,初中三年吃吃玩玩樂樂,高中學習一開始貪玩、逃避、荒廢學業的生活浮現在我眼前,這樣的路讓我無可回頭…… 

      前不久正在上初三表妹問我“哥,我發現自己整天面對著課本,練習冊,試卷……我每天除了吃飯睡覺就是學習,可現在我迷茫了,我不知道自己為何要如此拼命的學習,我好像一直都不清楚自己以后要走什么路我想起了那時亦是如此迷茫的自己,然后我微笑著回答她人生短暫,在面對自己的人生時,必須慎重選擇,當你看到你心中的光明,你就應該朝著它前行,無論前面有多少風雨,都要堅定不移,只有堅持下去,倔強地站在風雨中,去接受烈火的煅燒,才能走到路的那邊,才能成功。若當你發現你的道路不是這條,也不要灰心,不論成功還是失敗,你都要慎重的選擇,認真的對待,即使到頭來是失敗的結果,你也會擁有一段無法忘懷的心路歷程。當你想起在風雨中面對過的辛苦,過后看見五彩斑斕的彩虹,心中便會泛起甜蜜。俗語曰不經歷風雨,怎么見彩虹        

      時間一天天填滿歲月的空格,未來還是一片迷茫。學校開學在即,我卻不知道到底我該如何走接下來的每一步。想起了爺爺說過的那句話,不禁想我現在真的快樂嗎?不,我不快樂,那也不是我要走的路。雖說我以前過得渾渾噩噩,但我的人生才剛剛開始,而現在,路,就在腳下。

      如今,我坐在這個高二的教室里,心里更多的是欣慰。對啊人生就像一場旅行,不在乎目的地,只在乎沿途的風景和欣賞風景時的心情。路漫漫其修遠兮,吾將上下而求索。路,是前進的方向,是天邊的一道彩虹。

      正如江河行地,日月經天。過去發生的一切已無法改變,可人生之路早已開啟,現在唯有不停的步伐,心中永恒的信念不變,方才能行更遠的路。

      記憶是時間中結下的琥珀,歷經風雨沉淀出最純凈的色澤。回首我這人生為數不多的經歷,發現腳下的路已經走過十幾個年頭。陸游有詩:夜深忽夢少年事,夢啼妝淚紅闌干。正確也好,崎嶇也罷,過往的每一分鐘都沒有白費,每一個決定都做數,每一次踏下的腳步,都成就了如今。

      不知不覺,我回過神來,發現自己竟留下來兩行熱淚,原來曾經的我如此天真,如此迷茫。如今的我,細細品味一路的辛酸苦楚,抬頭看雁來雁往云卷云舒。我沒有沉湎于勝利的狂熱,只淡淡地揮一揮衣袖,抖落塵雜。背起行囊,繼續行路。因為我深知,我依然不能停止奔跑,因為在這扇門之后,還有另一條充滿挑戰的路,而那里有我未來的陰晴雨雪,我堅信路的盡頭,一定會在夢的渡口閃光。


    哈爾濱市第一中學    宋沛瑾

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